Journey to Pentecost

April 24, 2010      John 21.15

It was a rough one.  The man was middle-aged and had two teen age children.  He was tracking the super hyper spiritual for his own life.  He sat in the back of the church – preferring to sit alone.  He never engaged in fellowship meetings.  He never volunteered for anything.  He was fairly committed to the church in attendance.  He would occasionally write me a note to tell me how I had “missed it” in  sermon.   He was so different from all the rest of the body of believers.  He always carried his Bible and attached to it like white on rice was his notebook.  He was extremely dedicated to his notebook.  He rarely looked up during my sermons.  He was constantly writing.  I wss impressed at first with the fact that this man was so observant, such a listener.  Then it started to surface.  The man was a religious fanatic who knew nothing about personal relationships – even with his own family. 

It was his wife who first left him.  Then the kids followed suit.  He was left alone.  It didn’t happen over night the details are too gory and too lengthy to get into.  I wouldn’t bore you nor grieve you with them.  He was left alone – just the way he wanted to be.  Alone with his notebooks and his worn Bible.  Alone – where God never intended him to be.  He was alone by his own choice of behavior.  Poor and offensive behavior on his part.

Every day he would rise early to go to his basement to seek the face of God.  He would then shower and go to work.  He would come home, never eat with his family – rather went to his “chapel” in the basement and lingered “in the presence of the Lord.”  He would stay there until time for him to go to bed.  Next day he would go through this ritual again.  And that’s exactly what it was – a lifeless, boring, irresponsible, legalistic, hypocritical and pride filled ritual.  No one wanted anything to do with him, his faith, his religion or his church.  He lost his family because he became a religious recluse.

In our passage of scripture today, Jesus calls his followers to have some breakfast with Him.  He allows them to eat with him.  Fellowship with Him.  Laugh with Him.   Have a cup of coffee with Him.  Break some bread with Him.   He lets them enjoy life and life responsibilities.   Afterwards He introduces them to a higher calling.  He was telling them that there are some responsibilities that are more important than constantly chasing the super hyper-spiritual side of life.  Family is important.

I wasn’t the most time conscious dad in the world.  Pastoring is demanding and time-consuming.   I have been on call twenty-four hours a day for nearly thirty years.  One thing Kim and I worked hard on was trying to identify with the needs of family.  There were days it was easy and there were days we felt like we were at the gates of hell fighting to survive the pressures and demands of ministry and balance it out for the boys.  Without a doubt, Kim did an awesome job of raising our boys and teaching them with integrity and balance why dad was absent from the picture from time to time.   They could have grown up hating the church and the God that caused their dad to give other families time in lieu of giving them time once in a while.   The grace and mercy of God intervened and the boys seem to have adjusted to this monster called ministry rather well.

I digress to the man who was in my church many years ago.  For some reason, he assumed neglecting family somehow made him more holy.  Nothing was further from the truth.  This man eventually became disillusioned with the Lord, the church and life and lived alone in misery – refusing to listen to anyone give him advice – before and after he lost his family.   People told me he just wasn’t “all there” but I deduced it was much more than that.   Being a french fry short of a happy meal somehow wasn’t enough of an answer for me. 

I can’t tell you how important it is to focus on your responsibilities as a dad, mom, son or daughter.  Family is the most important faith card you can put on the table.  Nothing should trump the family card.   The relationship you have with your spouse should be the number one priority in all of your life.   I had the privilege of sitting tonight with a man from our church who discussed with me the ever-increasing number of Christians who are experiencing family melt down.  Unbelievable.  No easy answers but you have to stay focused on your spouse.  When Kim and I married our pastor at the time, Pastor C.L. Johnston, gave us some advice.  He said in his deep low voice, “Tim, if you will treat Kim like a queen she will automatically treat you like a king.  Kim, if you will treat Tim like a king he will automatically treat you like a queen.”  Nearly 33 years under our belt and the advice holds true today.  We have focused on loving one another in spite of all the bumps in the road a marriage will go through.  She is without a doubt a queen to me.  I have a responsibility to love her as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.  Love is reciprocal.  You love and love will come back.

Sons and daughters ought to bear the responsibility of caring for parents and their siblings.  I have been blessed with two outstanding young men as sons.  They have disciplined themselves to love one another and to love their mom and dad.   My youngest son recently gave us our first granddaughter.   Josh is a hard working dedicated young man.  He is focused on taking care of his family and he does it well.  His faith is a major part of who he is to his family.  If you don’t know by know, Isabella is the apple of my eye.  My daughter in law, Natalie, is an out standing mom, homemaker and professional.  Kim and I talk often about what a super mom she is to Bella and the care she shows our son.   This doesn’t just happen.  It takes effort on their part to make it work.

My oldest son in Michigan has made us proud for years.  He is a hard worker who manages his life well.  He has suffered disappointment in marriage but has now allowed it to anchor him down emotionally, physically and most of all spiritually.  He has maintained  relationship with Christ even through his disappointment season.   Life isn’t always easy but  many times it’s what you do with your disappointments that make you who you are.  He has shown a strong faith develops strong character.  You don’t have to defend Godly character – it defends itself.

I say all of this to say that family is important.  In studying for my message this Sunday the Holy Spirit spoke something to my spirit man.  Family isn’t perfect.  Perfection is something that is fixed and lifeless.  Perfection is the abstract of life that sits on a shelf – measured and cut for a perfect display.   Living life is full of ups and downs, bruises and bumps.   Living life and keeping the faith is full of disappointments.  But Jesus is calling us to live life, take care of life, be true to responsibilities.  He is calling us to sit down long enough to have breakfast and enjoy life before tackling the monumental ever-increasing issues of pursuing our faith life. 

Men take care of your families.  Assume responsibilities of the home before you jump up to secure your place in the hall of super-duper hyper spiritual hero morons.  The first all of us care about – the latter no one really cares about.